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[theme music]
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[no audio]
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[music continues]
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(ALF)
Thursday, 6:30 p.m.
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It started out
like any other night.
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Meatloaf.
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The third time that week.
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But I digress.
Here's what happened.
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I was being
my usual charming self
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spending some quality time
with the Tanner lad.
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See, when you bend
Missile Man's head this way
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he becomes
a communications satellite.
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- Whoa. I'm impressed.
- See?
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Yeah. What does
Missile man become
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when you bend him like this?
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He becomes broken!
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Oops. Sorry, B.
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Lynn, we're gonna be
late for the shower.
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Has anybody seen
the yellow ribbon?
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I don't know. What color is it?
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Ha! Yeah! I kill me.
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Ha-ha! You kill me!
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Brian, no arguments, it's time
to get ready for bed, okay?
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(Brian)
Aw, sorry, ALF, I guess
we'll have to play later.
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Obviously not with Missile Man.
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Oh, wait, here's that ribbon.
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But...it's wet.
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Forgot to tell you.
You're out of floss.
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Maybe there's a chance
I can find some ribbon
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without meat on it.
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Not in that drawer.
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I might have some meatless
ribbon in the garage.
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Forget the ribbon.
A blender doesn't need ribbon.
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Okay, you have
Joanna's number, right?
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We won't have any problem.
Brian's going to bed.
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I've got a lot of reading
to catch up on
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and I'm sure ALF
will find something to do.
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Make sure he doesn't.
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[telephone ringing]
Oh, I'll get it.
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Hey, don't worry
about the old ALFer.
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Channel 9's running "Psycho."
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Oh, by the way,
we're out of popcorn.
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I'll put it on the shopping list
next to floss.
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No chance to run out now
and get it, I suppose?
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Right. I'll just see
if I can scrounge
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a few kernels
from the sofa.
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Ready. What do you think?
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00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,857
- I love that dress.
- Thanks.
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00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,526
- 'Willie, we're leaving.'
- Oh, hold on, hold on.
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That-that was Herb
from the office.
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00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,864
The computer's down,
he can't access the files.
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I've got to go in
and reload the back-ups.
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- You have to go now?
- I've got no choice.
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- The budget's due tomorrow.
- Oh, honey.
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- We can't leave Brian alone.
- I'm here.
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Well, maybe
I could take him with me.
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It's a school night.
He goes to bed in ten minutes.
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I'll stay.
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Well, you can't,
you're in the wedding party.
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I'm not.
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This is just great.
What are we gonna do now?
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Ahem! Hello? How about me?
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- For what?
- To sit with Brian.
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What do you think?
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Do I think we should let
an alien from outer space
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watch "Psycho" while our son
sleeps in the other room?
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00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,008
Hey, no problem.
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00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,911
Just leave me the keys
to the liquor cabinet.
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00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,448
Maybe we can get
Mrs. Ochmonek to sit.
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00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,283
Good idea. I'll call her.
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Nice to know
I'm trusted around here.
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ALF, ALF, ALF.
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When you ask for the keys
to the liquor cabinet--
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Hey, William, I was kidding!
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Ha-ha!
I mean, don't you get it?
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Do you think I'd actually
go near the liquor cabinet
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or even take my eyes
off the kid for a second?
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Come on, get with it,
these are the jokes, man.
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The jokes.
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The jokes. Yeah, oh..
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[laughs]
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I'm sorry, I-I guess
I misunderstood.
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I guess if we knew
you were kidding..
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Mrs. Ochmonek
will be here in five minutes.
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Thank God!
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Bye.
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So, this is my prison
for the night.
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It's not a prison.
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It's our bedroom.
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One man's bedroom
is another man's prison.
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00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,940
Well, there's plenty
to keep you occupied.
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We've got, uh, magazines,
this is a jigsaw puzzle.
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Mm-hmm.
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- It's broken.
- That's the object.
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You're supposed
to put it together.
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Why? I didn't break it.
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Uh, here's your
favorite comic book.
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"Shanna,
Mistress of the Universe."
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I don't want Shanna.
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I want Mrs. Bates.
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00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,935
ALF, we'll run "Psycho"
another night, okay?
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Now, if you can just promise
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that you can stay completely
away from Mrs. Ochmonek
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then maybe, in the future
we'll let you baby-sit.
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Don't toy
with my emotions, Willie.
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I'm not. Look...ALF..
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...you think you can keep
your end of this bargain?
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Mrs. O will never know I'm here!
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[doorbell dings]
I'll get it!
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- Oh, ALF.
- Just kidding! Just kidding!
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Come on,
where's the fun around here?
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Oh, you're a life saver,
Mrs. Ochmonek.
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Oh, please, it's Raquel.
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And it's my pleasure.
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Trevor's watching
some stupid ball game
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so this works out just fine.
Channel 9 is showing "Psycho."
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So I hear.
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Willie, have you been having
trouble sleeping lately?
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No, why?
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Well, far be it
for me to pry
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but recently it's seems your TV
has been on awfully late.
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You know, now you
mention it
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I-I really have had
trouble sleeping lately.
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You know, I couldn't
help but notice
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how much garbage you've been
putting out lately.
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Well, if I didn't
know any better
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I'd think you've been
taking in boarders.
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[laughs]
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Look, you know how it is,
when I can't sleep, I-I eat.
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My Trevor is the same way.
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Is this a new lamp?
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Uh, Mrs. Ochmonek,
Mrs. Ochmonek?
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Uh, I really have to go now.
Here's the number.
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00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,526
I'll only be gone
a couple of hours.
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00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,227
Don't worry about a thing.
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00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,030
Oh, and, please, uh,
stay out of the bedroom.
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If-if you don't mind, it's,
uh, it's kind of a mess.
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Whatever you say.
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"Please stay
out of the bedroom."
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Who does he think I am, a snoop?
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(woman on TV)
'Thank you.
The room seems very nice.'
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(man on TV)
'Yes, but its
kind of stuffy though.'
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'Let me open these windows.'
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00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,927
(woman on TV)
'Why, thank you, I..'
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(ALF)
Meanwhile, in the bedroom
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I was just finishing
the jigsaw puzzle..
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...when I heard the haunting
strains of the movie
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I so desperately wanted to see.
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00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,811
(woman on TV)
'Thank you very much.
You've been very kind.'
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00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,347
'Uh, I was wondering..'
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00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:06,785
'...is there a diner
or a cafe open nearby?'
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00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,019
(man on TV)
'Yes.'
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00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:12,290
'There's one ten miles
down the road.'
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00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,459
(woman on TV)
'Oh. Ten miles?'
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00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:18,196
(man on TV)
'Oh, but you're not going
to drive there in this rain?'
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00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,799
(woman on TV)
'No, I'm not.'
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00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,969
- 'I was wondering..'
- 'Yes.'
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00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,872
(man on TV)
'Well, seeing as though
the rain'
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00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,808
'and I'm all alone..'
160
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,143
'...I was wondering whether..'
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'...you'd like to come up
to the house.'
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'There was some..'
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(woman on TV)
'Why?'
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00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,218
'You're very kind.'
165
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:44,155
'If you're sure it's not
an imposition, I really...'
166
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,057
'I know you weren't
expecting company'
167
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,026
(man on TV)
'Oh, no.'
168
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,829
'On the contrary,
I'd be delighted.'
169
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:53,832
(woman on TV)
'Well, I'd like that
very much, thank you.'
170
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,735
(man on TV)
'Why don't you..'
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00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,670
'...freshen up..'
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00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,006
'...and, when supper's ready..'
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00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,841
'...I'll come down
and call for you.'
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00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,577
(woman on TV)
'Thank you.
Thank you very much.'
175
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,015
(man on TV)
'Well...thank you.'
176
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,217
'It won't be a minute.'
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00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:21,359
(ALF)
I learned one thing about
eating jigsaw puzzles.
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00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,429
An hour later,
you're hungry again.
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00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,539
Yo, Pizza Barge.
180
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:38,243
Yeah, I'd like to order
one large special.
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00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,612
The works. To travel.
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00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,516
167, Hemdale.
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00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,617
Grazie.
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00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,018
Oh, oh, and listen, uh
185
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,054
could you leave it
by the oak tree
186
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,122
in the backyard?
187
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,491
I don't know, I'm superstitious.
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00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,429
[indistinct chatter on TV]
189
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,131
[screams]
Oh.
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00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,968
[intense music on TV]
191
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:08,807
(ALF)
I decided to go outside
and wait for the pizza.
192
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,342
Big mistake.
193
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,494
Whoa!
194
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,830
Oh!
195
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:35,033
[intense music on TV]
196
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,240
Trevor, get over here quick.
197
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,743
I think there's somebody else
in this house.
198
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,119
[indistinct chatter on TV]
199
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,354
Trevor, what took you so long?
200
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,323
The Dodgers batted a round.
201
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,291
Now, what's so important
that I have to leave the game?
202
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,460
I think there's somebody else
in this house.
203
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,995
I heard a scream.
204
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,531
[woman screaming on TV]
205
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,466
Don't wake me up
when you come home.
206
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,702
It wasn't the TV!
207
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:14,639
The scream I heard
came from the back bedroom.
208
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,141
Maybe it was the cat.
209
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,210
No cat would scream like that.
210
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,613
Maybe it was in heat.
211
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:25,150
It sounded like a human scream,
and it came from this room.
212
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,052
[crickets chirping]
213
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,356
Alright, alright, I'm goin' in.
214
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,192
If I don't come back,
you can start dating.
215
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,127
I already tried it, it's locked.
216
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,298
Now, it's open.
217
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,333
What are you, narrating this?
218
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:46,638
(Mrs. Ochmonek)
I'm scared. Willie even told me
to stay out of this room.
219
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,808
- Look in the bathroom.
- Oh, for crying out loud.
220
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,180
- Hey!
- Trevor, what is it?
221
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:58,016
(Trevor)
They got one of them
cushioned toilet seats!
222
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,317
Let's get one, Raquel.
223
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:02,220
I'm tired of living
in the dark ages.
224
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,123
Just check the window, will you?
225
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,431
There, it's locked!
226
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,433
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm goin' back and watching
227
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,635
the Dodgers blow a big lead.
228
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,240
(ALF)
As for me, my only thought
229
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,409
was to get back to my room..
230
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,478
...and rake myself.
231
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,122
[indistinct chatter on TV]
232
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,840
[rattling]
233
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,146
[creaking]
234
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,951
(woman on TV)
'Are you sure you don't know
something about all this?'
235
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,154
(man on TV)
'I don't know a thing about it!
Have you..'
236
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:13,258
(ALF)
A light snack would hold me
over until the pizza came.
237
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,594
Unfortunately,
Lucky had the same idea.
238
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,563
[Lucky meows]
239
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,237
[doorbell dings]
240
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,180
(male
'Pizza Barge!'
241
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:41,519
One super Sicilian.
That's me. Here's your pizza.
242
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,854
Sorry, I couldn't
leave it by a tree.
243
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,189
It's against company policy.
244
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,523
I don't understand.
245
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,825
Well, you see,
the last time we left one
246
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,027
by a tree, a squirrel died.
247
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,129
No, I mean,
I didn't order a pizza
248
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,463
and I refuse to pay for it.
249
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,833
Lady, it's already
paid for, house account.
250
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,968
Oh, well, in that case..
251
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,703
What about my tip?
252
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,140
Here, is this enough?
253
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,710
Oh, sure, in some states
I can still make a phone call.
254
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:11,216
"In some states I can
still make a phone call."
255
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,461
Trevor, did you order a pizza
and have it sent over here?
256
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,330
What are you talking about?
257
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,332
Well, the strangest thing
just happened.
258
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,235
A pizza arrived
already paid for.
259
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,571
You're tellin' me
you've got a pizza there?
260
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,474
- That's right.
- I'll be right over.
261
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:39,978
Tsk. Ah.
262
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,313
[gasps]
It's gone!
263
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,886
[knock on door]
264
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,562
Trevor, you're not gonna
believe this, but it's gone.
265
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,697
- What's gone?
- The pizza!
266
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,000
You didn't even
leave me a slice?
267
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:04,035
I didn't eat it, it disappeared!
268
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,603
'Trevor, something is going on
in this house.'
269
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,573
Between the-the noises
and the screams
270
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,041
and this pizza thing!
271
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,376
What are you talking about?
272
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,279
There's a pizza
over there on the counter.
273
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,050
Well, I'll be
go to the market, it's back.
274
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:22,787
- "I'll be go the market?"
- Yes, it's back.
275
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:28,259
Mmm! Delicious!
276
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,228
Could be a little hotter.
277
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,130
Trevor can't you stay here
and watch the game?
278
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,898
I don't wanna be alone.
279
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,733
Take it easy, Raquel.
280
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,469
I haven't seen you this bad
since the eclipse.
281
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,205
Fine! Then you tell me
where the pizza went.
282
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:44,776
I'll do better than that.
I'll tell you where it's goin'.
283
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:53,384
(ALF)
I had done everything I could
think of to pass the time.
284
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:57,088
One thing was certain,
blue was not my color.
285
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,624
[telephone ringing]
286
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,662
Hello?
287
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,269
What are you doing
answering the phone?
288
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,071
I live here.
289
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,272
Where's Mrs. Ochmonek?
290
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,274
She lives next door.
291
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:20,278
I know she lives..
Where is she now?
292
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,347
I don't know,
last time I saw her
293
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:25,283
she was giving away my pizza.
294
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,652
Pi..
295
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,254
I called to speak
to Mrs. Ochmonek.
296
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,789
Just a minute, I'll get her.
297
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,258
No! Don't move out of that room!
298
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,927
I'll call back.
299
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:37,061
It's your dime.
300
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,099
Kids.
301
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,372
[telephone ringing]
302
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:51,943
Hello?
303
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,648
Why do you keep
answering the phone?
304
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,885
- You keep calling.
- Is everything alright?
305
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:04,689
Everything's fine. Oh, oh,
and the cat's going to be okay.
306
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,824
The cat?
What happened to the cat?
307
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,660
I closed the refrigerator door
on his tail.
308
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,463
What? What were you
doing in the kitchen?
309
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,532
Well, I had to break
in the back door
310
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,901
after I fell out the window.
311
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,638
Where are you now?
What are you doing?
312
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,541
I'm in the bedroom
wearing a blue dress.
313
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,310
Don't move from that spot!
314
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:29,714
Where would I go?
I don't have the right shoes.
315
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,317
I'm coming home.
316
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,154
I should have locked him
in the garage!
317
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,091
Kids.
318
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,130
[rattling]
319
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,272
Brian, is that you?
320
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,973
[gasps]
321
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,614
[telephone ringing]
322
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,551
Yeah.
323
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,619
Trevor, get over here, quick!
324
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,054
Forget about it, Raquel.
325
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,890
I'm not puttin'
my pants back on.
326
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,726
But I think I saw
somebody in the bushes.
327
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,962
Maybe it was another pizza.
328
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,869
Operator, this is an emergency.
329
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,205
What's the number for 911?
330
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,877
(ALF)
And then it happened.
331
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,947
He came into my life.
332
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:40,651
At first,
I thought it was Santa Claus.
333
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:43,154
Then it soon dawned on me.
334
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:46,724
Santa probably wouldn't
smell of cheap wine.
335
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,094
Besides..
336
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,896
...he was beginning
to fill up his bag
337
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,632
with stuff
that didn't belong to him.
338
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,337
I was scared stiff.
339
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,772
But I knew
I had to do something.
340
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,908
I realized for that moment
341
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:07,111
I was the man of the house.
342
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,447
Uh. Excuse me, sir.
343
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,150
Uh, may I have a word with you?
344
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,519
Who said that?
345
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:15,920
I did.
346
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:19,023
Can you take some
constructive criticism?
347
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:22,093
What you're doing
here is wrong.
348
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,833
[chuckles]
349
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,202
It must be one
of them talking dolls.
350
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,972
Oh, yeah? Ever have a talking
doll rip out your voice box?
351
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,942
[screaming]
352
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,447
- Oh!
- Oh!
353
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,650
Oh, Mr. Tanner,
thank God you're home!
354
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,318
This evening
has been a nightmare.
355
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,387
- So I heard.
- Oh! Oh!
356
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,989
- No, no, Mrs. Ochmonek!
- Ah!
357
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,492
I don't know
what's going on here.
358
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,360
I hope that police
get here soon.
359
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,662
Police?
360
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,829
Weird things have been going on
361
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,331
in this house all night.
362
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,767
Especially in your bedroom!
363
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,371
Lynn, uh, take Mrs. Ochmonek
into the kitchen
364
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,506
and give her some tea.
365
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,174
Okay, mom.
366
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,475
Come on, Mrs. Ochmonek.
367
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,711
Would you
prefer herbal tea or regular?
368
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,613
I'd prefer scotch.
369
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:27,225
So, how was the shower?
370
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,694
What in the world..
371
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:32,930
ALF, what are you
doing in my dress?
372
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,367
Sorry, I thought it was Lynn's.
373
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,935
You've really done it this time.
374
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:42,440
Any semblance of faith
or trust I had in you is gone.
375
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:43,608
I can explain.
376
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,276
What could you possibly say
377
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,411
that would explain what's
happened in this house tonight?
378
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,381
Tonight, I set a thief
on the straight and narrow.
379
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,617
What are you talking about?
380
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,819
Willie, my jewelry box
is missing!
381
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,590
So are my good gold cufflinks.
382
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,225
And...my good watch.
383
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:04,929
And my antique cameo!
Where are they?
384
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,031
Probably being pawned.
385
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,935
Wait a minute, look, look.
Look!
386
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,436
There really was a thief
in this house tonight
387
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,938
wasn't there, ALF?
388
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:19,076
Two of 'em. One took your
jewels, the other took my pizza.
389
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:23,247
The police are here.
What'd you do, ALF?
390
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,916
Sure, blame the guy
in the dress.
391
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:28,786
Now, don't make a sound.
Stay right here.
392
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,921
And take off that dress.
393
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,924
Alright, but I feel
it only fair to warn you
394
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,827
I'm not wearing
anything underneath.
395
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:41,098
Come on, lighten up.
396
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,333
Boy..
397
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,804
Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Tanner,
we're responding
398
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,973
to your call.
Can you identify this property?
399
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,941
- That's my jewelry box.
- Those are my cufflinks.
400
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,977
Uh, this man
chased our car for two blocks
401
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,979
claiming he'd stolen
this merchandise.
402
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,448
I did. I swear, I did.
I deserve the maximum penalty.
403
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,683
Relax, pal.
404
00:21:58,685 --> 00:21:59,850
If you'll come down
to the station
405
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:01,585
and fill out a report
you can, uh
406
00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:04,522
reclaim your property,
if you want it.
407
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:06,657
- Yes, we do.
- Fine. Let's go.
408
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,994
Ask him. You said
you'd ask him. Now, ask him.
409
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,797
Um, this man claims he saw some
410
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,532
hideous creature
with a huge nose.
411
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,233
Wearing a blue dress.
412
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:19,503
He says it talked to him.
413
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,039
It did. I swear it did.
414
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:26,143
Thank you, Lynn.
I think I'll be going home, now.
415
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,878
Excuse me.
416
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:33,651
Well, at least
he can't plead insanity.
417
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:35,353
Have a good night.
418
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,856
[sighs]
419
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,958
- Willie--
- I know what you're thinking.
420
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,794
But we got through it.
Everything's alright.
421
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,896
Everything's back to normal.
422
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,100
(ALF)
'Hey, could somebody
unzip me in here?'
423
00:22:58,144 --> 00:22:59,710
(ALF)
On May 18th
424
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:02,513
Andrew Seminick was convicted
in municipal court
425
00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:06,550
of breaking and entering
with intent to commit burglary.
426
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:09,086
He waived his rights
to a jury trial
427
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:11,288
in lieu of psychiatric help.
428
00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:15,493
Mrs. Raquel Ochmonek
429
00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,862
wasn't as fortunate.
430
00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:21,098
She was sentenced to life
with Trevor.
431
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:27,371
He swung on his friggin' own
pitch. I knew it! Bases loaded!
432
00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:29,540
(ALF)
As for the old ALFer
433
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:32,343
I remained
my usual humble self.
434
00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:35,913
Unaffected by the events
of one very strange evening
435
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:39,350
and my heroic participation
in them.
436
00:23:39,352 --> 00:23:41,852
So anyway, there I was
437
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:45,222
looking Mr. Death in the eye.
438
00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,857
Was I scared?
439
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:48,559
Ha! I said to him
440
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:52,463
"Hey, pal, you don't know
who you're dealing with."
441
00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:56,467
Sausage, Willie, I said sausage!
442
00:23:57,804 --> 00:23:59,437
I'm tellin' ya.
443
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:03,707
More butter.
444
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:06,877
[theme music]
445
00:24:30,436 --> 00:24:33,337
[ALF laughing]